According to some embodiments, systems and methods for the collection of human waste samples are provided. The systems include a collection bowl, defined as a generally bowl-shaped part extending downward from a toilet seat-shaped rim and having a collection port at the bottom of the collection bowl, a sample cup releasably coupleable to the collection port having a collection volume in communication with the collection bowl, a collection basket lined with a screen to collect solid and particulate matter, and a sample spatula to manipulate solid waste. The method generally includes: placing at least the collection bowl coupled with the sample cup on the porcelain rim of a toilet, replacing the toilet seat down over the collection bowl to hold the collection bowl in place, sitting on the toilet, voiding either liquid or solid waste into the collection bowl, ensuring waste enters the sample cup, emptying excess waste from the collection bowl, de-coupling the sample cup from the collection bowl, capping the sample cup, and discarding the collection bowl.