The presence of a user or device on a network is inferred without requiring permission or exposure from a service provider or network operator. If updates for a user have been pending past a specified amount of time, the user can be inferred to not be present. If the user has requested updates within that specified time, the user can be inferred to be present. If presence cannot be inferred from past activity, a wake-up event can be sent to the user. The wake-up event can be piggy-backed on an existing protocol in order to have easy access to the user. If the user is present on the network, the user will respond to the wake-up event and the user's presence can be determined. If the user does not respond, it can be inferred that the user is not present. This presence can be provided to a third party.